


Hold her down with soggy clothes (and breezeblocks)

by kitty_shcherbatskaya



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, also carmilla's a massive douche, it's a party tbh, the whole gang turns up really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 14:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4609983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitty_shcherbatskaya/pseuds/kitty_shcherbatskaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The "I kissed you as a distraction while I stole your wallet" AU. Or, Laura's first Pride in Vienna is a white-knuckle rollercoaster ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold her down with soggy clothes (and breezeblocks)

**Author's Note:**

> A little something I wrote last night to combat all the Hollstein panic. They're on their way guys, be patient. Also I loved writing this, even though it's a bit of a car crash, so I'd welcome any feedback you have.

Laura clung tightly to her friends’ hands as the crowd around them surged and swayed. She couldn't believe that they'd made it here - Vienna Pride. Music was blasting, she was covered in some kind of luminous spray paint and the three beers she'd had on the way through the wide, packed streets all contributed to the fantastic carnival atmosphere that covered the city like a big, rainbow coloured blanket - but maybe the blanket feeling was more to do with the hot summer sun which could only have been topping up her tan around the paint on her bare legs. Danny grabbed some kind of fancy dress top hat from a passerby and balanced it jauntily on her head with an exaggerated grin, and Laura couldn’t stop laughing at the ridiculousness of it, on top of everything else. To be fair, she was surprised Danny could still stand; the older girl had spent a considerable portion of the last hour in some kind of drinking contest with a drag queen who had hands like dustbin lids. Bright stalls at the side of the road caught her eye and she let go of Danny and Kirsch, who was wearing some kind of leather minimalist toga, to have a look at what they had. This was her first European pride after all; she might as well grab a souvenir.

There were all kinds of things on offer; bright jewellery, little rainbow pin badges, some kind of homeopathic crystals (she wasn't sure about those at all) and as she considered, her attention was caught by a girl in a corset - an honest-to-goodness corset - who was casually flicking through some postcards at the front of the adjacent stall. She was incredibly, uncommonly beautiful, with an elegantly-featured face that Laura would have been more used to seeing on billboards than in a slightly tipsy haze on the street. Laura flushed just watching her before a loud shout from the middle-aged stall owner made her start: " _Carmilla! Finger weg, mensch_!" The girl snapped her hand back and threw a middle finger in the woman's direction, already turning away with a retort and a sneer. Quickly, Laura dropped her staring eyes; picking up the wristband she'd been considering, she pulled out her wallet from her back pocket to pay for it with a few euros. Slipping it on her arm, she looked curiously back towards where Carmilla had been to find dark eyes locking with hers. She almost swallowed her tongue. The black haired girl's gaze burned with some mischief or other and she winked at Laura with an air of cockiness before turning and disappearing into a gaggle of what appeared to be nuns, singing a Robbie Williams song and having the time of their life.

It was later, after Laura had downed another beer in accompaniment to Kirsch's hoots and Perry's concerned remarks about peer pressure, that she saw the mysterious Carmilla again. She was barrelling through the crowd with determination and when her eyes fell on Laura a smirk stretched across her face. It was a very sexy smirk on a sexy woman, Laura had to concede, even though normally that level of concentrated arrogance would repel her. Maybe the empty shot glass in her hand had something to do with that too.

 _Oh god_ she was coming right towards her, against the flow of the crowd. Had the others noticed? - Natalie dropped her hand in surprise, just in time for this beautiful girl to sweep right up to her, and, with no more than a husked " _Grűß Gott_ ", pale hands were on her jaw, tilting her head firmly, and soft lips were pressed to hers.

Laura squeaked - _oh my god this is actually happening I'm being kissed at Pride by the most perfect 10 I've ever seen where do I_ put _my_ hands - and when she felt a tongue stroke softly at her bottom lip, she opened her mouth eagerly because holy Hufflepuff, this girl knew how to kiss. Carmilla let out a low, throaty hum and nipped at her lip; she gasped and melted more into her. Her hands tangled in thick black locks and she felt Carmilla's hands run down to cup her ass before teeth tugged at her lip again and Laura’s brain short circuited. Carmilla tasted like smoke and sugar. It was a taste she could get high off.

Gasping for breath, she had to pull away. Those dark, penetrating eyes were boring into her and Laura wasn't aware of anything except for this girl - her proximity, her smell, the softness of her skin under her trembling hands. But even as she croaked out a "wow," Carmilla breathed a " _danke, Sűsse_ " and, smirk fixed again on swollen lips, she breezed past her. A veterans' group was marching and even as Laura watched, everything tingling and feeling light, Carmilla squeezed between two rather taller men and out of her sight.

Laura licked her lips and ran her hands through her tousled hair, attempting to get herself under control. She realised her friends were somewhere between scandalised and proud; LaFontaine was bent over and wheezing from laughter. "Guys, I think I'm in love," she groaned and Kirsch let out a whoop, clapping her heavily on the back.

"Maan, Laura, that was smokin'! You go, little hottie!"

"If we see her again Laura, we'll kidnap her for you... leather pants and all," grinned Betty, her college roommate, " you might want to sort yourself out though, you look... exactly like you just had a furious makeout session in the middle of the street."

She glowered without any malice as she smoothed down her shirt, feeling completely dishevelled. As her hands skated over her denim shorts and the pockets over her butt, however, which Carmilla had claimed so readily, she suddenly realised why she felt weirdly light and her heart almost jumped out of her throat. "My wallet! It's not in my pocket!" She’d had it _literally_ five minutes ago.

It only took a few more seconds for them all to join the dots and they awkwardly avoided her eyes as Laura let out another, more pained groan. "I just got hustled by a girl in a corset."

Danny looked like she desperately wanted to laugh, but she swallowed it and patted Laura’s shoulders, "Don't worry, L, we'll report it. What were you carrying?"

"Like, everything... cash, all my cards, my ID... She's stolen everything!"

"And, most importantly, your heart," crooned LaFontaine. Perry slapped their shoulder."Ow! Just saying... if I looked like that I think I'd do the same- "

"Not helping, LaF."

Kirsch scratched his head. "I dunno how they'll find her now though. There must be like a hundred thousand people here... and we don't even have her name."

Laura, who was moping in Betty's arms, suddenly straightened, remembering the woman who'd snapped so familiarly at the thief just an hour ago. "Yes we do. And I know someone who knows her."

\---

 

"Stole something, did she?" The woman arched an eyebrow and her voice was not exactly sympathetic; Laura cleared her throat and stepped out from Danny’s shadow.

"We don't know. But she was definitely with us when I, umm, lost my wallet, maybe she saw something?" cold grey eyes fell on her and she squirmed slightly.

"It was you then? That she got? Of course it was, you're exactly what she likes. Stupid girl." She sighed but gave them another long look, before she softened slightly. "Carmilla’s my neighbour's daughter. In the last few years she's gone a bit...wild. I don't know where you'll find her but I can give you her phone number.  She'll still be here, that I don't doubt. Involved in some heist. Or some affair, knowing her..." she slid a slip of paper over to them, and hesitated. " _Bitte_... I'd prefer it if you didn't involve the police. She's not a bad girl; she's just misguided."

Thankfully,  Laura’s phone was still safely where she'd tucked it in her bra - Carmilla hadn't gotten quite that far - and as she dialled the number that the woman had given them, she willed her hands to stop shaking. Danny had offered to do it for her, but no way. _Bad Blood_ was playing in her head; this was between her and Carmilla.

It had almost rung out when, finally, she heard a low " _'allo?_ " from the speaker, barely distinguishable over a heavy bassline.

"Carmilla." Laura managed, "I want my wallet back."

There was a moment of shocked silence down the phone. Laura was wondering how to proceed - threats, or restraint - when, with a click, the line went dead.

"She hung up on me!" Laura almost yelled in disbelief. "What kind of raging - bad person would even do that?"

Danny was just persuading her that a name and phone number was more than enough to take to the police when her phone buzzed, still in her hand. Unknown number. Austrian country code. Carmilla’s. Without even thinking, she answered.

"Yeah?"

"Laura?" Her heart stopped, despite itself, at her name on Carmilla's lips.

“How did you -” Then she remembered what she was calling for. "You've just looked through my wallet, haven't you?"

"Erm...yes." the other girl admitted sheepishly, switching to slightly accented English. "Does it help if I say I'm sorry?"

"I - no! No it does not help if you say you're sorry, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Are you gonna go to the police?"

"What kind of question - of course I am, you stole my wallet and I want my stuff back, I've got nothing but my passport now, no money, no -" she paused to catch her breath, "why the hell wouldn't I go to the police?"

There was a moment of silence down the line. "I don't know. I just thought, since we had a pretty good moment back there, you might have wanted to, mmm, forgive and forget?" Her voice dropped to a growl and Laura had to suppress a shiver.

She was going to _punch_ something. "Oh my god! You being a good kisser does not excuse the fact that you robbed me blind, Carmilla! I'm not messing around with this!"

"Ok, ok, Jesus," Carmilla breathed heavily down the phone. "Where are you? I'll give you your stuff back, I swear."

"We're back on the parade route, like, most of the way towards the main square," Laura sighed, "there's a two storey _dm_ store next to us."

"Ok sweetheart, I'll be there in five minutes." Laura heard the bass fade slightly from the other end of the line as Carmilla evidently started walking.

"Yeah you'd better be," she muttered, but didn't hang up. She received a snort of derision in her ear.

Laura still had her phone pressed to her ear when Carmilla’s husky voice startled her again, "so I _am_ a good kisser, hmm?"

"Oh my - you know what, I’m not having this conversation." She terminated the call with a jab of her finger, ignoring the flush across her cheeks and neck, and remembered the fact that she had an audience. They were all looking at her with that irritating, knowing expression on their faces and Laura threw her hands up in vexation. "She is the most annoying, arrogant, uncaring person I've ever had the misfortune of encountering!"

"Encountering," nodded Betty, deadpan, "that's what the kids are calling it nowadays."

"She's bringing your stuff back though, right Laura?" asked Danny.

"Yeah, she'll be here really soon," Laura was hit with a fresh wave of let-me-sink-into-the-floor embarrassment and she grabbed Kirsch's wrist, "oh my God, I really don't want to see her again. What if she just laughs at me?"

"Don't chicken out, Laura, you've won, right?" Danny gave her a small smile. "I mean, she's gotta come back here now and give you your stuff… and you _were_ kind of a badass on the phone. I mean," her brow furrowed slightly, "aside from where you basically told her she was the best kiss you've ever had and then got really flustered. But the rest, you owned it!" She had clearly decided to stop before she could do any more damage; Laura was grateful. Especially since she must have been counting their own past kisses in the field of 'things Carmilla and Laura’s almost R-rated encounter was better than'.

At least she wasn't bitter about the whole failed relationship gig.

It was then that the gang all straightened up, looking over Laura's shoulder. Danny’s face hardened.

"Erm. Hey." Laura span and - yep. Carmilla. Leather pants, tight corset, eyeliner model Carmilla. Excellent kisser and petty thief. Laura felt bizarrely like she was facing her high school crush at the summer dance all over again.

She drew herself up to her full height (Carmilla still had two inches on her). "My wallet?" She held out an expectant hand and the thief hesitated, before placing the worn brown leather carefully on her palm.

Her eyes were on Laura as she checked everything was still there, right down to the €70 she'd taken out that morning. All present and correct. She glanced up and immediately was caught in a reproachful stare.

"I'm sorry, okay? I don’t usually get a phone call from the person I’ve stolen from. It makes it a lot harder."

"I'll bet," muttered Danny behind her, but Laura ignored her.

"Yeah, well. This was my first Pride here, and you kinda ruined it," she admitted, feeling weirdly vulnerable at the admission. Why should she care what Carmilla thought of her? It wasn’t like the feeling would be mutual.

"I didn't think I'd ruined it after we first got acquainted, sweetheart," Carmilla rasped, stepping in closer to her. She reactively tucked her wallet in her bra, next to her phone, and watched Carmilla's eyes follow her movements down her chest and linger there. Her hands tightened on her shirt's low neckline. "Come on, cupcake, I'm not going to steal your shit again, try not to have a heart attack."

"I'm not - it wasn't -"

"Or are you just working out what to do for next time we meet?" she raised an eyebrow suggestively and there was a flurry of movement behind her; Laura heard what sounded like Danny being physically restrained. It made her bolder. There was fire in her veins now, a haze of something that made her want to act against this girl. She wasn’t just going to walk away from her.

"Look, no matter how much you want it, there won't be a next time! It's done and we are done." she snapped, but her eyes were drawn to those lips, curling up into a smirk. She knew how soft they really were.

"What, you’re not coming to Pride again? That’s a shame." Laura stuttered, feeling like she'd walked right into some kind of trap. "Or - what was on your mind, _Hase_?"

 _God_ , she was attractive, even if she was horrible, and Laura was having a hard time keeping track of their argument.  Why were they even arguing anyway?

"You know what was on my mind," she managed, "and you're not as good as you think you are." She tried not to think about how she probably needed another demonstration to really comment - In the interests of Carmilla's technique, of course.

"Oh, really, pumpkin?" Her smile had dropped and her eyes were burning, "You didn’t sound so hard to please by the way you were moaning in my mouth before. I think you want me to remind you how good I really am."

"What, like you're just going to assault me again - right here?"

Laura didn't even realise she'd stepped right in, close enough to kiss her with one easy movement.

At least not until Carmilla, murmuring, "I just might", had taken her shoulders and dragged her mouth back to hers like it belonged there.

She was too good and Laura couldn't hold onto her anger and as they found their rhythm it melted into something else entirely. She was more aggressive this time, slipping her tongue into Carmilla's open mouth, who sighed softly in surrender. She'd give her something to remember her by, all right. The thing was, she wasn't sure she'd be forgetting it any time soon either. Carmilla sucked her bottom lip into her mouth; when her wandering hand brushed Laura's breast the smaller girl remembered herself and broke away, her heart hammering and her lips bruised. Carmilla held her tight, and she chuckled darkly into her ear. "Just keeping you on your toes, Laura."

When she let her go, laughter in her eyes, Laura wasn't sure whether that had been the best or worst decision of her life. She was barely aware of her friends behind her until Carmilla, smirking hugely, blew them a kiss. Then she looked back to Laura. "You've got my number, _süße_. Maybe you should use it sometime." Then, with a sashay of her hips, she melted back into the crowds enjoying the last of the evening at the festival.

"Oh. My. _God_." Betty looked like she was having the time of her life, "Laura, you little vixen!"

Kirsch was wrapped around Danny in a bear hold. There was a brief struggle before she finally shoved him off her. "Give a girl some warning, Laura, I know she was cracking out the seduction eyes but -"

"Oh, pipe down, Eiffel!" LaF grinned. "Just because she totally scored the hottest girl you've ever seen doesn't mean you have to get all pissy about it. Laura's just having some fun, right, L?"

Laura was in a daze as the phantom of Carmilla’s lips ghosted over hers. Natalie nudged her shoulder gently. "You're not going to call her, are you Laura?"

She turned back to her friends, the grin spreading across her face. She felt alive tonight. "You know, Nat, I just might. Someone has to guide her back to a lawful life..."

Danny sagged back against Kirsch, who was staring at Laura with open-mouthed admiration. "You're going to be the death of me, you know that?" she groaned.

"Well," Betty sniggered, throwing an arm round her roommate and maybe it was the fun of the day, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was Carmilla, but she really did love these guys, "at least it's not gonna a boring way to go, Lawrence. Earth to Laura." She pulled Laura around in the direction of the nearest bar. "Come on, ladykiller. Let's toast to a, like, successful conquest."

"Come on, guys," she protested weakly, "can I not salvage at least a bit of my dignity?"

LaF shrugged."'fraid it's gone,  Hollis."

"Gone," continued Kirsch breezily, ""like you never had any at all."

"I really have to agree," Perry intervened, looking highly put out, "dignity really isn't something you can lay a claim to right now."

Laura looked around all her friends with increasing resignation. Beaten, she shrugged. She might as well drag them down with her. "Shots?"

"Shots!"

"Attagirl!" 

\---

 

"Shot for anyone who got robbed today and then scored a booty call out of it!"

"Shut up, Betty!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come yell at me on tumblr @ viele-kleine-leute, I'll probably take prompts and shit


End file.
